How To Write Better Copy to Avoid Sounding Like An Impersonal Robotic Humanoid on LinkedIn InMail

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Raise your hand if you’ve received a connection request or InMail that does the following:

  1. The message is clearly a copy pasted template with the name field switched out for mass-sending. Maybe, it’s not even meant for your industry.

  2. The sender is going on about themselves and not enough about what problem they solve for you.

  3. There’s no copy at all. It’s just a connection request from a stranger with the standard “I’d like to add you to my network…” text.

If you’re on LinkedIn, most of you have probably come across a connection request or InMail message like this that leaves you feeling like just another number. It’s the business equivalent of that copy pasted booty call text a desperate single man sends all the girls in his contact list hoping he’ll finally get laid tonight.

Here’s the thing, outreach is a powerful tool. It can make you or break you. However, you’ll ruin your credibility and halt the creation of trust if you make it feel impersonal.

There are many things you can automate in your marketing nowadays but genuine human kindness, trust, & connection can’t fit into a one-size-fits-all format.

Guidelines For Better Outreach Messages

Get ready for some brutally honest feedback. Don’t take it personally unless you want to halt your growth. Nobody cares about you. People care about themselves. I’m not talking about your immediate family or best friend, I’m talking about brand new relationships, especially the ones you build as a brand. Even though you may be a personal brand and people do care about you to a certain extent, the reason they are there in the first place is because of what you can do for them whether it’s your product, service, activism, or just how you make them feel.

Human beings are selfish creatures and your marketing speaks to that nature where its all about “but what’s in it for me?".


Nobody cares about you. People care about themselves.

Ouch? Maybe, but it’s important to get over this. and understand what really makes an impact.

Now repeat that to yourself until you really absorb it so we can get to writing copy that’s actually intriguing & useful for the end-viewer.

What To Keep In Mind Before & During Writing:

  • You’re talking to another human being, not a robot. Be clear & be interesting. People crave authenticity.

  • If you read your own copy and are bored by it, start over. If it bores you, it will bore the end-viewer.

  • Lead with what the end-viewer will resolve & achieve if they pay attention to your message. It’s more about what’s in it for them rather than boasting about your accomplishments.

  • Run proper market research to understand your target audience’s struggles & desires better than they might even know themselves. Look into each person you message as well to see if there’s anything you can touch on to make them feel seen & appreciated.

How To Structure Your Message

While you should not send the same exact message to every single person, you can follow a general structure on how you lay out the details in your message.

The Ultimate Result Your Potential Client Desires + Time Period + Objections + Personal Statement

Sample Message:

Hi [name],

you can double your conversions on social media in 30 days without spending a single dollar on ads. I noticed you [something you noticed you can improve]and would love to [something free you can offer them for further brand awareness & get them on the phone to build trust].


[Your name + contact info/link]

Now, you can adjust the message to your liking, you can even place the objection in that first line and run A/B tests. So the message might then look more like “You can spend less money on ads by creating stronger organic content….”

The reason so many of you might get lost with this form of highly intimate writing is that you’re stuck in the corporate environment’s formal & stiff style. You forget that at any given moment you’re just trying to build a relationship with another living, breathing, human being.

So relax, take a deep breath, clear your mind and shift your approach to become a better listener in order to become a better giver.

I dare you to give it a shot.